Shushing the Self Sabotage Monster
April 12, 2007
How often do you think to yourself “I really want to do that” but before you can take any action, you hear another voice in your head telling you that it isn’t possible, you’re not good enough, that you will fail, look stupid, etc?
It’s okay to admit that you sometimes hear this negative voice and you are certainly not alone. This is the interfering voice of the little monster that lives in your conscious mind, otherwise known as self-sabotage. Its intention is honourable, it basically just wants to protect you and keep you safe, but in doing so, it also prevents you from achieving your dreams and reaching your full potential.
Self-sabotage is the voice that represents the culmination of all the limiting, restrictive and disempowering beliefs that hold you back and stop you from being the best you can be. It is the uninvited guest that gatecrashes every decision-making event in your life and shouts down your ideas before they can develop into something magnificent.
How often have you paid attention to this voice and avoided taking action towards your goals? When you look back over your life, how many times have you talked yourself out of doing something that you really wanted to do, or convinced yourself that it can’t be done? How many opportunities have you let slip from your grasp, how many potential relationships have passed you by and how many plans were aborted before they could shine? How many hopes and dreams remain just that, a figment of your imagination?
Whatever you have dreamed of; the perfect relationship, losing weight, earning more, improving your career – has been impacted by the voice in you head. The more negative it has been and the louder it has shouted – the more it has immobilised you from pursuing your dreams.
Of course, this little monster is actually a part of you and it’s important to accept the voice of self-sabotage as your own. It only exists as a result of everything that’s happened in your life so far and because of the meaning you’ve given each experience or event. Limiting beliefs are formed at specific defining moments in time to protect you from harm and support your needs. But as you mature, these beliefs often outlive their use-by date and bring about more harm than good.
It’s time to dump these “old” beliefs into the past where they belong, and adopt some “new” beliefs that will be more empowering, positive and constructive in your current and future life. Choose to give yourself the gift of a new set of empowering beliefs and watch your life transform before your eyes.
What has been the cost of allowing sabotaging behaviours to influence your decisions and control your life? What have you missed out on? What are you still tolerating? How important are those lost opportunities? What do you regret? How much more fulfilled could you be feeling today?
One of the things we teach clients about this voice is that we don’t have to listen to what it says. We can simply thank the voice for what it tells us (“yes, thank you for pointing out that dieting is difficult, I am going to give it my best shot regardless”).
Focus on your dream and imagine how amazing you will feel when it becomes a reality. Embrace the uncertainty, the new and unfamiliar with anticipation, excitement and confidence. Rejecting the voice of self-sabotage is truly a liberating and empowering experience, one that you will soon become addicted to.
Just like a naughty toddler, the voice only wants to be noticed. Once you’ve tamed your noisy monster and realise what a frightened, timid little mouse it really is, you’ll wonder why you ever allowed it the last word in the past. After all, monsters are only as real as we believe them to be, aren’t they?
And now you are well on your way to making dreams come true and creating the life that you’ve always wanted. An amazing adventure and extraordinary future lies ahead. What are you waiting for?
Author’s Bio
Lorna Westley is the CEO of Born Woman - the business of empowering women. Born Woman is a celebration of woman. It’s about accepting our differences, acknowledging our vulnerabilities, appreciating our gifts and embracing the magic of truly being woman. It’s about letting go of all we think we should be and all the demands and expectations of others. It’s about letting go and just being. Just being a woman…..and so much more!
http://www.bornwoman.com
For a longer list of way, that does not include treating yourself like a toddler have a look at:
http://www.toach.net/blog/2006/12/11/how-to-silence-your-internal-dialogue/
I certainly don’t like those voices. Everytime I hear it, I just make myself calm and relax and think of other things like wonderful thoughts about the past. Sometimes I just keep myself busy in doing my work so that it will just slip off my mind.
I agree. It’s about time that we should stand on our own decisions and stop noticing those voices that prevents us from achieving our goals. They may be in our thoughts all the time but the problem is if we let ourselves get influenced by these voices.