Why did this happen?為什麼這種事發生？ “When we praise children for their intelligence,” Dweck wrote in her study summary, “we tell them that this is the name of the game: Look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.” And that’s what the fifth-graders had done: They’d chosen to look smart and avoid the risk of being embarrassed. “當我們稱讚的兒童為他們的情報， ” dweck寫在她的研究綜述， “我們告訴他們，這是遊戲的名稱：尋找聰明，不犯錯誤的風險。 ” ，並說的是什麼第五年級做了：他們要選擇照顧智能和避免的風險尷尬。

In a subsequent round, none of the fifth-graders had a choice.在隨後的一輪，沒有第五年級了一個選擇。 The test was difficult, designed for kids two years ahead of their grade level.測試是困難的，專為孩子們提前兩年他們的職。 Predictably, everyone failed.可以預見，每個人都失敗了。 But again, the two groups of children, divided at random at the study’s start, responded differently.但同樣地，這兩個群體的兒童，分為隨機抽樣方式，在研究的開始，不同的回應。 Those praised for their effort on the first test assumed they simply hadn’t focused hard enough on this test.那些稱讚他們的努力，第一次試驗假設，他們根本沒有足夠的努力集中在這個測試。 “They got very involved, willing to try every solution to the puzzles,” Dweck recalled. “他們有非常涉及，願意盡一切辦法來解決困惑， ” dweck回顧。 “Many of them remarked, unprovoked, ‘This is my favorite test.’ ” Not so for those praised for their smarts. “他們中的許多評論，無端的， '這是我最喜愛的測試” 。並非如此對於那些稱讚他們的智慧。 They assumed their failure was evidence that they weren’t really smart at all.他們假設他們的失敗是對證據表明，他們並非真正的智能在所有。 “Just watching them, you could see the strain. “只是看著他們，你可以看到應變。 They were sweating and miserable.”他們出汗和悲慘“ 。

Having artificially induced a round of failure, Dweck’s researchers then gave all the fifth-graders a final round of tests that were engineered to be as easy as the first round.經人工誘導新一輪的失敗， dweck的研究，然後給所有第五級的最後一輪測試，被設計一樣容易第一輪。 Those who had been praised for their effort significantly improved on their first score—by about 30 percent.那些被稱讚為他們的努力，大大提高了他們的第一次評分由30 ％左右。 Those who’d been told they were smart did worse than they had at the very beginning—by about 20 percent.那些想要被告知他們的智能確實不如他們在開始時由20 ％左右。

Dweck had suspected that praise could backfire, but even she was surprised by the magnitude of the effect. dweck曾懷疑稱讚可能會適得其反，但即使她感到驚訝的是由規模效應。 “Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control,” she explains. “強調努力讓孩子一個變量，他們可以控制的， ”她解釋。 “They come to see themselves as in control of their success. “他們來見自己在控制他們的成功。 Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”強調自然情報需要是出於兒童的控制，並且沒有提供良好的食譜，為回應一失敗“ 。

In follow-up interviews, Dweck discovered that those who think that innate intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids’ reasoning goes; I don’t need to put out effort. Expending effort becomes stigmatized—it’s public proof that you can’t cut it on your natural gifts.在後續採訪中， dweck發現，那些認為天生的情報是成功的關鍵，開始以折扣的重要性，努力， 我聰明，孩子們的推理當然， 我並不需要向全力。花費的努力成為蒙受恥辱-它的公共證明，你不能削減它在您的自然禮物。

Repeating her experiments, Dweck found this effect of praise on performance held true for students of every socioeconomic class.重複她的實驗， dweck發現這種影響就表現稱讚舉行真正的為學生每社會經濟階層。 It hit both boys and girls—the very brightest girls especially (they collapsed the most following failure).它擊中，男孩和女孩-非常聰明的女孩，尤其是（他們倒塌的最以下的失敗） 。 Even preschoolers weren’t immune to the inverse power of praise.甚至學齡前兒童都是不能倖免的逆的權力讚譽。

Jill Abraham is a mother of three in Scarsdale, and her view is typical of those in my straw poll.小傑，石禮謙，是三個孩子的母親，在scarsdale ，她認為是典型的那些在我的稻草調查。 I told her about Dweck’s research on praise, and she flatly wasn’t interested in brief tests without long-term follow-up.我告訴她約dweck的研究就稱讚，她斷然是不感興趣，在簡短的測試，沒有長遠的後續行動。 Abraham is one of the 85 percent who think praising her children’s intelligence is important.石禮謙就是其中的85 ％的人認為，稱讚她的子女的情報是非常重要的。 Her kids are thriving, so she’s proved that praise works in the real world.她的孩子們蓬勃的，所以她的證明，稱讚工程，在現實世界中。 “I don’t care what the experts say,” Jill says defiantly. “我不關心什麼，專家說， ”吉爾說，公然。 “I’m living it.” “我的生活，它” 。

Even those who’ve accepted the new research on praise have trouble putting it into practice.即使是那些已經接受了新的研究讚譽有麻煩，把它付諸實踐。 Sue Needleman is both a mother of two and an elementary-school teacher with eleven years’ experience.控告needleman既是兩個孩子的母親和一個小學-中學教師與十一年的經驗。 Last year, she was a fourth-grade teacher at Ridge Ranch Elementary in Paramus, New Jersey.去年，她是一位四年級教師在嶺農場小學在paramus ，新澤西州。 She has never heard of Carol Dweck, but the gist of Dweck’s research has trickled down to her school, and Needleman has learned to say, “I like how you keep trying.” She tries to keep her praise specific, rather than general, so that a child knows exactly what she did to earn the praise (and thus can get more).她從未聽說過卡羅爾dweck ，但精神dweck的研究已惠及到她的學校，和needleman已學會說， “我喜歡你如何繼續嘗試。 ”她試圖保持她的讚美具體的，而非一般，使兒童確切地知道她到底在幹什麼，贏得稱讚（從而可以獲得更多） 。 She will occasionally tell a child, “You’re good at math,” but she’ll never tell a child he’s bad at math.她偶爾會告訴孩子， “您善於數學” ，但她永遠不會告訴孩子，他的壞數學。

But that’s at school, as a teacher.但是，這在學校裡，作為一名教師。 At home, old habits die hard.在家裡，舊習慣模具努力。 Her 8-year-old daughter and her 5-year-old son are indeed smart, and sometimes she hears herself saying, “You’re great.她8歲的女兒和她的5歲的兒子的確是聰明的，有時，她聽到自己的話說： “您的偉大。 You did it.你沒有。 You’re smart.” When I press her on this, Needleman says that what comes out of academia often feels artificial.你聰明， “當我按下她在這方面， needleman說什麼出來的學術界，往往覺得人工。 “When I read the mock dialogues, my first thought is, Oh, please. “當我看到模擬對話，我首先想到的是，哦 ， 請。 How corny. ” 如何陳詞濫調 “ 。

No such qualms exist for teachers at the Life Sciences Secondary School in East Harlem, because they’ve seen Dweck’s theories applied to their junior-high students.沒有這樣的qualms存在，為教師在生命科學中學在東哈萊姆，因為他們已經看到dweck的理論應用到他們的初中高學生。 Last week, Dweck and her protégée, Lisa Blackwell, published a report in the academic journal Child Development about the effect of a semester-long intervention conducted to improve students’ math scores.上週， dweck和她的protégée ，麗莎布萊克威爾，發表了一份報告，在學術期刊兒童發展有關的效果一學期長進行干預，以改善學生的數學成績。

Life Sciences is a health-science magnet school with high aspirations but 700 students whose main attributes are being predominantly minority and low achieving.生命科學是一個健康科學的磁石學校與高的願望，但700名學生，其主要屬性正在為主的少數民族和低實現。 Blackwell split her kids into two groups for an eight-session workshop.布萊克威爾分裂，她的孩子們分成兩組，一為八期研討會。 The control group was taught study skills, and the others got study skills and a special module on how intelligence is not innate.對照組教授的研究技能，以及其他有學習技巧和特殊的模塊就如何情報是不是天生的。 These students took turns reading aloud an essay on how the brain grows new neurons when challenged.這些學生輪流朗讀一篇文章對大腦如何增長的新神經元的挑戰時。 They saw slides of the brain and acted out skits.他們看到的幻燈片的大腦和採取行動，指出skits 。 “Even as I was teaching these ideas,” Blackwell noted, “I would hear the students joking, calling one another ‘dummy’ or ‘stupid.’ ” After the module was concluded, Blackwell tracked her students’ grades to see if it had any effect. “即使我是教學的這些想法， ”布萊克威爾指出， “我想聽到學生在開玩笑，要求一另一個'道具'或'愚蠢的' ” 。模塊後，得出的結論是，布萊克威爾跟踪她的學生成績，看看是否有任何效果。

It didn’t take long.它沒有考慮長遠。 The teachers—who hadn’t known which students had been assigned to which workshop—could pick out the students who had been taught that intelligence can be developed.老師誰不知道學生已被指定為使用哪個車間，可以挑選出的學生已告訴我們，情報可以發展。 They improved their study habits and grades.他們改善他們的學習習慣和檔次。 In a single semester, Blackwell reversed the students’ longtime trend of decreasing math grades.在一個單一學期，布萊克威爾扭轉了學生的長期下降趨勢的數學職系。

The only difference between the control group and the test group were two lessons, a total of 50 minutes spent teaching not math but a single idea: that the brain is a muscle.之間唯一的差別，對照組和試驗組，兩個教訓，一共有50分鐘，花了教學的數學，但沒有一個單一的想法：認為，腦是一個肌肉。 Giving it a harder workout makes you smarter.使它更難鍛煉使你更聰明。 That alone improved their math scores.僅改善他們的數學成績。

“These are very persuasive findings,” says Columbia’s Dr. Geraldine Downey, a specialist in children’s sensitivity to rejection. “這是非常有說服力的調查結果，說： ”哥倫比亞的博士杰拉爾丁唐尼，專科在兒童的敏感性排斥反應。 “They show how you can take a specific theory and develop a curriculum that works.” Downey’s comment is typical of what other scholars in the field are saying. “他們顯示你如何可以採取的具體理論和發展的課程工程” 。唐尼的評論是典型的什麼其他學者在該領域的話說。 Dr. Mahzarin Banaji, a Harvard social psychologist who is an expert in stereotyping, told me, “Carol Dweck is a flat-out genius. mahzarin banaji博士，哈佛大學社會心理學家誰是專家在定型的，告訴我， “卡羅爾dweck是一個單位出的天才。 I hope the work is taken seriously.我希望的工作是認真考慮。 It scares people when they see these results.”它害怕的人當他們看到這些結果“ 。

Since the 1969 publication of The Psychology of Self-Esteem , in which Nathaniel Branden opined that self-esteem was the single most important facet of a person, the belief that one must do whatever he can to achieve positive self-esteem has become a movement with broad societal effects.自1969年出版的心理，自尊 ，在這種納撒尼爾博蘭登認為，自尊是最重要的單一面貌的一個人，相信一，必須盡他所能，取得積極的自尊，已成為運動與廣泛的社會影響。 Anything potentially damaging to kids’ self-esteem was axed.任何潛在的破壞性，以孩子的自尊axed 。 Competitions were frowned upon.比賽frowned 。 Soccer coaches stopped counting goals and handed out trophies to everyone.足球教練員停止計數的目標，並交給了獎杯大家。 Teachers threw out their red pencils.教師拋出他們的紅色鉛筆。 Criticism was replaced with ubiquitous, even undeserved, praise.批評是取代無處不在，甚至undeserved ，讚譽。

Dweck and Blackwell’s work is part of a larger academic challenge to one of the self-esteem movement’s key tenets: that praise, self-esteem, and performance rise and fall together. dweck和布萊克威爾的工作的一部分，是一個較大的學術挑戰之一自尊運動的關鍵原理：稱讚，自尊，和業績的興衰在一起。 From 1970 to 2000, there were over 15,000 scholarly articles written on self-esteem and its relationship to everything—from sex to career advancement.從1970年到2000年，有超過15000的學術文章寫的自尊和它的關係，一切從性別來晉升。 But results were often contradictory or inconclusive.但結果往往是矛盾的或有定論。 So in 2003 the Association for Psychological Science asked Dr. Roy Baumeister, then a leading proponent of self-esteem, to review this literature.因此，在2003年協會心理科學博士問羅伊鮑邁斯特，然後領導提倡自尊，檢討這個文學。 His team concluded that self-esteem was polluted with flawed science.他的小組得出結論認為，自尊與受污染的有缺陷的科學。 Only 200 of those 15,000 studies met their rigorous standards.只有200個，這些15000研究達到其嚴格的標準。

After reviewing those 200 studies, Baumeister concluded that having high self-esteem didn’t improve grades or career achievement.經檢討那些200的研究，鮑邁斯特得出結論認為，具有高度的自尊並沒有改善的職系或政績。 It didn’t even reduce alcohol usage.它甚至沒有減少酒精的使用。 And it especially did not lower violence of any sort.它尤其是不低的暴力行為的任何排序。 (Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem.) At the time, Baumeister was quoted as saying that his findings were “the biggest disappointment of my career.” （高侵略性，暴力發生的人認為很高的評價自己，駁斥的理論，人是咄咄逼人，以彌補低自尊。 ）在時間，鮑邁斯特引述他的話說，他的研究結果： “最大的失望，我的職業生涯“ 。

Now he’s on Dweck’s side of the argument, and his work is going in a similar direction: He will soon publish an article showing that for college students on the verge of failing in class, esteem-building praise causes their grades to sink further.現在，他的關於dweck的一方的說法，他的工作是在一個類似的方向：他快將出版的一篇文章顯示，大學生對瀕臨未能在課堂上，自尊建設稱讚的原因，他們職系進一步下沉。 Baumeister has come to believe the continued appeal of self-esteem is largely tied to parents’ pride in their children’s achievements: It’s so strong that “when they praise their kids, it’s not that far from praising themselves.”鮑邁斯特已經到了，相信繼續上訴的自尊，主要是聯繫在一起父母感到自豪，他們的子女所取得的成就：它的如此強大， “當他們讚美他們的孩子，這並不是說到目前為止，從稱讚自己” 。

By and large, the literature on praise shows that it can be effective—a positive, motivating force.由大，文學就稱讚表明，它可以有效地-積極的，激勵的力量。 In one study, University of Notre Dame researchers tested praise’s efficacy on a losing college hockey team.在一項研究中，聖母大學的研究人員測試稱讚的療效在一個失去大學曲棍球隊。 The experiment worked: The team got into the playoffs.實驗工作：隊進入了季后賽。 But all praise is not equal—and, as Dweck demonstrated, the effects of praise can vary significantly depending on the praise given.但所有的稱讚並非平等，並作為dweck顯示，效果贊不絕口，可以差別很大，視乎有關稱讚。 To be effective, researchers have found, praise needs to be specific.為了有效，研究人員已經發現，讚美需要加以具體化。 (The hockey players were specifically complimented on the number of times they checked an opponent.) （曲棍球球員們特別complimented就多少次，檢查他們的對手） 。

Sincerity of praise is also crucial.讚美的誠意也很重要。 Just as we can sniff out the true meaning of a backhanded compliment or a disingenuous apology, children, too, scrutinize praise for hidden agendas.正如我們可以嗅出的真正含義，一backhanded配合，或坦誠道歉，兒童，太，審議稱讚隱藏的議程。 Only young children—under the age of 7—take praise at face value: Older children are just as suspicious of it as adults.只有年幼子女-下， 7歲以下-採取稱讚面值：年齡較大的兒童一樣懷疑它作為成年人。

Psychologist Wulf-Uwe Meyer, a pioneer in the field, conducted a series of studies where children watched other students receive praise.心理學家伍爾夫-烏韋邁耶，領域的先驅，進行了一系列的研究，讓兒童觀看的其他學生獲得讚譽。 According to Meyer’s findings, by the age of 12, children believe that earning praise from a teacher is not a sign you did well—it’s actually a sign you lack ability and the teacher thinks you need extra encouragement.根據邁耶的調查結果，由12歲以下的兒童，相信賺取讚譽教師是不是一個跡象，你沒有良好的，它的其實是一個跡象，你缺乏能力和教師認為你需要額外的鼓勵。 And teens, Meyer found, discounted praise to such an extent that they believed it’sa teacher’s criticism—not praise at all—that really conveys a positive belief in a student’s aptitude.和青少年，邁耶發現，折扣，讚揚這種程度，他們認為這是老師的批評而不是讚揚在所有真正傳達了一個積極的信念，學生的性向。

In the opinion of cognitive scientist Daniel T. Willingham, a teacher who praises a child may be unwittingly sending the message that the student reached the limit of his innate ability, while a teacher who criticizes a pupil conveys the message that he can improve his performance even further.在民意的認知科學家丹尼爾湯匙， willingham ，老師讚揚的兒童可能會不知不覺地發出訊息，就是學生達到了極限，他天生的能力，而一名教師批評學生傳達的訊息，他可以改善他的表現甚至進一步。

New York University professor of psychiatry Judith Brook explains that the issue for parents is one of credibility.紐約大學精神病學教授朱迪思不容解釋說，這個問題，供家長是一個信譽。 “Praise is important, but not vacuous praise,” she says. “讚美是非常重要的，但不能空泛讚揚， ”她說。 “It has to be based on a real thing—some skill or talent they have.” Once children hear praise they interpret as meritless, they discount not just the insincere praise, but sincere praise as well. “它必須是基於一個真實的事，有些技術或人才，他們有”一旦孩子聽到稱讚他們解釋為依據，他們的折扣，不只是言不由衷的讚美，但真誠的讚美，以及。

Scholars from Reed College and Stanford reviewed over 150 praise studies.學者從蘆葦學院和斯坦福大學審查超過150讚美的研究。 Their meta-analysis determined that praised students become risk-averse and lack perceived autonomy.他們的Meta分析認定，稱讚學生成為風險厭惡和缺乏知覺的自主權。 The scholars found consistent correlations between a liberal use of praise and students’ “shorter task persistence, more eye-checking with the teacher, and inflected speech such that answers have the intonation of questions.”學者們發現，一貫相關性之間的自由使用的讚揚和學生的“短，任務毅力，更多眼科檢查與教師， inflected講話，這樣的答案有語調的問題” 。

Dweck’s research on overpraised kids strongly suggests that image maintenance becomes their primary concern—they are more competitive and more interested in tearing others down. dweck的研究就過獎孩子們強烈建議的形象，維護成為他們最關注的，他們更具有競爭力和更感興趣的撕裂等。 A raft of very alarming studies illustrate this.一系列非常驚人的研究說明這一點。

In one, students are given two puzzle tests.在一，學生給出了兩個益智考驗。 Between the first and the second, they are offered a choice between learning a new puzzle strategy for the second test or finding out how they did compared with other students on the first test: They have only enough time to do one or the other.之間的第一和第二，他們提供了一個選擇學習一門新的益智戰略，為第二次測試或尋找他們如何做比較，與其他學生就第一項測試：他們只有足夠的時間做一個或其他。 Students praised for intelligence choose to find out their class rank, rather than use the time to prepare.學生稱讚為情報選擇，找出他們的工人階級隊伍，而不是使用時間來準備。

In another, students get a do-it-yourself report card and are told these forms will be mailed to students at another school—they’ll never meet these students and don’t know their names.在另一，學生獲得自己動手的報告卡，並告訴這些表格將郵寄到學生在另一所學校- they'll從來沒有滿足這些學生不知道他們的名字。 Of the kids praised for their intelligence, 40 percent lie, inflating their scores.對孩子們稱讚他們的情報， 40 ％的謊言，誇大他們的分數。 Of the kids praised for effort, few lie.對孩子們稱讚的努力，數所在。

When students transition into junior high, some who’d done well in elementary school inevitably struggle in the larger and more demanding environment.當學生過渡到初中高，有些人要做得好，在小學的鬥爭，不可避免地在較大的和更為嚴格的環境。 Those who equated their earlier success with their innate ability surmise they’ve been dumb all along.那些等同於他們以前的成功，與他們天生的能力，推測他們已經啞所有沿。 Their grades never recover because the likely key to their recovery—increasing effort—they view as just further proof of their failure.他們的職系，因為從來沒有收回的可能，關鍵他們的復甦，越來越多的努力，他們的觀點只是進一步證明了他們的失敗。 In interviews many confess they would “seriously consider cheating.”在採訪中，許多招供，他們將“認真考慮作弊” 。

Students turn to cheating because they haven’t developed a strategy for handling failure.學生談談作弊，因為他們沒有制定了一項戰略，處理失敗的。 The problem is compounded when a parent ignores a child’s failures and insists he’ll do better next time.問題是複雜時，家長忽略了孩子的失敗和堅持，他會做更好的下一次。 Michigan scholar Jennifer Crocker studies this exact scenario and explains that the child may come to believe failure is something so terrible, the family can’t acknowledge its existence.美國密歇根州的學者珍妮佛克羅克的研究，這確實情況，並解釋說，孩子可能來相信失敗是可怕的東西，所以，家庭可以不承認它的存在。 A child deprived of the opportunity to discuss mistakes can’t learn from them.一名兒童被剝奪了機會討論的錯誤，不能向他們學習。

My son, Luke, is in kindergarten.我的兒子，盧克，是在幼稚園。 He seems supersensitive to the potential judgment of his peers.他似乎超向潛在的判斷，他的同儕。 Luke justifies it by saying, “I’m shy,” but he’s not really shy.盧克的理由，它說， “我很害羞” ，但他不是真的害羞。 He has no fear of strange cities or talking to strangers, and at his school, he has sung in front of large audiences.他沒有恐懼奇怪的城市或陌生人交談，並在他的學校，他已在宋前大量觀眾。 Rather, I’d say he’s proud and self-conscious.而這些，我會說他的驕傲和自我意識。 His school has simple uniforms (navy T-shirt, navy pants), and he loves that his choice of clothes can’t be ridiculed, “because then they’d be teasing themselves too.”他的學校有簡單的制服（海軍T卹，海軍褲） ，和他熱愛，他選擇的衣服，不能嘲笑， “因為他們要被取笑自己太” 。

After reading Carol Dweck’s research, I began to alter how I praised him, but not completely.後讀卡羅爾dweck的研究，我開始改變我如何稱讚他，但不完全。 I suppose my hesitation was that the mind-set Dweck wants students to have—a firm belief that the way to bounce back from failure is to work harder—sounds awfully clichéd: Try, try again.我想我毫不猶豫地認為，心定dweck希望學生有一個堅定地相信，我們的方式反彈失敗是努力工作-聽起來非常clichéd ：試試看，再試一次。

But it turns out that the ability to repeatedly respond to failure by exerting more effort—instead of simply giving up—is a trait well studied in psychology.但結果表明，該能力一再回應失敗施加更多的努力-而不是簡單地放棄-是一個特質，以及在研究心理學。 People with this trait, persistence, rebound well and can sustain their motivation through long periods of delayed gratification.人與這個特質，堅持和反彈，以及能夠維持他們的動機是通過長時間的延遲欣慰。 Delving into this research, I learned that persistence turns out to be more than a conscious act of will; it’s also an unconscious response, governed by a circuit in the brain.鑽研這項研究，我了解到，原來堅持要多於自覺的行為，將它也是一個昏迷的反應，由一個電路在大腦中。 Dr. Robert Cloninger at Washington University in St. Louis located the circuit in a part of the brain called the orbital and medial prefrontal cortex.博士羅伯特cloninger在聖路易斯華盛頓大學位於電路的某一部分的大腦所謂的軌道內側前額葉皮層。 It monitors the reward center of the brain, and like a switch, it intervenes when there’sa lack of immediate reward.監察懸賞中心的腦，就像一個開關，它介入時，有沒有即時的回報。 When it switches on, it’s telling the rest of the brain, “Don’t stop trying.當開關，它的告訴其餘的大腦， “不要停止嘗試。 There’s dopa [the brain’s chemical reward for success] on the horizon.” While putting people through MRI scans, Cloninger could see this switch lighting up regularly in some.還有的左旋多巴[大腦的化學懸賞成功]在地平線上。 “ ，而以人為本，通過磁共振成像掃描， cloninger可以看到，此開關照明定期在一些。 In others, barely at all.在其他情況下，幾乎在所有。

What makes some people wired to have an active circuit?是什麼使一些人的有線，有一個活躍的電路呢？

Cloninger has trained rats and mice in mazes to have persistence by carefully not rewarding them when they get to the finish. cloninger已受過訓練的大鼠和小鼠在迷宮有毅力仔細沒有獎勵他們，當他們到達終點。 “The key is intermittent reinforcement,” says Cloninger. “關鍵是間歇性加固，說： ” cloninger 。 The brain has to learn that frustrating spells can be worked through.腦已得知令人沮喪的闡述可以通過工作。 “A person who grows up getting too frequent rewards will not have persistence, because they’ll quit when the rewards disappear.” “一個人長大，越來越過於頻繁的獎勵將不會有毅力，因為他們將退出時，獎勵消失” 。

That sold me.出售我。 I’d thought “praise junkie” was just an expression—but suddenly, it seemed as if I could be setting up my son’s brain for an actual chemical need for constant reward.我要思想“讚美junkie ”只是一個表達，但突然間，好像如果我能成立我兒子的腦為一個實際的化學需要不斷的獎勵。

What would it mean, to give up praising our children so often?會怎樣，它的意思是，放棄稱讚我們的孩子，所以往往呢？ Well, if I am one example, there are stages of withdrawal, each of them subtle.好吧，如果我是其中一個例子，有階段的撤離，他們每個人微妙。 In the first stage, I fell off the wagon around other parents when they were busy praising their kids.在第一階段，我脫落車皮左右，其他的家長，當他們忙碌的稱讚他們的孩子。 I didn’t want Luke to feel left out.我不想盧克感到排斥在外。 I felt like a former alcoholic who continues to drink socially.我覺得像前酒精世衛組織繼續酒後社會。 I became a Social Praiser.我成了一個社會praiser 。

Then I tried to use the specific-type praise that Dweck recommends.然後我嘗試使用特定型稱讚說， dweck建議。 I praised Luke, but I attempted to praise his “process.” This was easier said than done. i稱讚盧克，但我試圖讚美他的“過程” ，這是說起來容易做起來。 What are the processes that go on in a 5-year-old’s mind?什麼是進程繼續下去，在今年5歲的頭腦呢？ In my impression, 80 percent of his brain processes lengthy scenarios for his action figures.在我的印象中， 80 ％的他的大腦過程冗長的情景，他行動的數字。

But every night he has math homework and is supposed to read a phonics book aloud.但每天晚上，他的數學功課，是要讀一本書語音朗讀。 Each takes about five minutes if he concentrates, but he’s easily distracted.每個需時約五分鐘，如果他集中，但他很容易分心。 So I praised him for concentrating without asking to take a break.因此，我稱讚他為集中沒有要求採取打破。 If he listened to instructions carefully, I praised him for that.如果他聽取指示，認真，我讚揚他。 After soccer games, I praised him for looking to pass, rather than just saying, “You played great.” And if he worked hard to get to the ball, I praised the effort he applied.之後，足球比賽，我稱讚他為尋找通過，而不是只說： “你發揮很大的， ”如果他努力工作，去球，我讚揚的努力，他申請。

Just as the research promised, this focused praise helped him see strategies he could apply the next day.正如研究的承諾，這集中稱讚幫助他見戰略他可以申請第二天。 It was remarkable how noticeably effective this new form of praise was.這是了不起的如何明顯有效的這種新形式的讚美是。

Truth be told, while my son was getting along fine under the new praise regime, it was I who was suffering.真相被告知，而我兒子相處的罰款根據新的讚美制度，它是我當時的痛苦。 It turns out that I was the real praise junkie in the family.原來，我是真正的讚美junkie在家庭中。 Praising him for just a particular skill or task felt like I left other parts of him ignored and unappreciated.讚美他只是某一特定技能或任務，就像我離開的其他部分，他忽視和unappreciated 。 I recognized that praising him with the universal “You’re great—I’m proud of you” was a way I expressed unconditional love. i承認，讚美他與世界“您大i'm為你們驕傲”是一種方法，我表示無條件的愛。

Offering praise has become a sort of panacea for the anxieties of modern parenting.提供讚譽，已成為一種靈丹妙藥的憂慮，現代為人父母。 Out of our children’s lives from breakfast to dinner, we turn it up a notch when we get home.出於我們對孩子的生活，從早餐到晚餐，我們打開了一個缺口，當我們回家。 In those few hours together, we want them to hear the things we can’t say during the day— We are in your corner, we are here for you, we believe in you.在這些幾個小時在一起，我們希望他們能聽到的東西，我們不能說在一天- 我們在您的角落，我們在這裡為你，我們相信你。

In a similar way, we put our children in high-pressure environments, seeking out the best schools we can find, then we use the constant praise to soften the intensity of those environments.在一個類似的方式，我們把我們的孩子在高壓力的環境中，找出最好的學校，我們可以找到，那麼我們使用的不斷稱讚軟化強度的那些環境。 We expect so much of them, but we hide our expectations behind constant glowing praise.我們期望這麼多的他們，但我們隱藏我們的期望，不斷煥發出背後的讚譽。 The duplicity became glaring to me.該口是心非，成為突出的給我。

Eventually, in my final stage of praise withdrawal, I realized that not telling my son he was smart meant I was leaving it up to him to make his own conclusion about his intelligence.最終，在我的最後階段，稱讚撤回，我意識到，沒有告訴我的兒子，他是精明的意思，我離開了他，使他自己的結論，他的情報。 Jumping in with praise is like jumping in too soon with the answer to a homework problem—it robs him of the chance to make the deduction himself.跳躍在與讚美，就像在跳太快與回答一項功課問題，它失去了他的機會，使扣除自己。

But what if he makes the wrong conclusion?但如果他作出錯誤的結論呢？

Can I really leave this up to him, at his age?可我真的離開這個向他，在他的年齡呢？

I’m still an anxious parent.我還是一個渴望父母。 This morning, I tested him on the way to school: “What happens to your brain, again, when it gets to think about something hard?”今天早上，我測試，他就在上學的路上： “發生什麼事，以你的大腦，再次，當它想的東西硬” ？

“It gets bigger, like a muscle,” he responded, having aced this one before. “它得到更大的，像肌肉， ”他回答後，這一進洞之前。

Read More Books, Watch Less TV.閱讀更多的書籍，看電視少。

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