بشارلز [أ.]. يتوالد

تذكّرت الفتحة مشهد في القنبلة ضخمة فيلم, [فورّست] [غمب] € “ ريش يعوم في الريح, [أوب ند دوون] وجميعا حوالي بلا تحكم أو إحساس الاتّجاه مهما. أنا جادلت أنّ كثير عمل يشعر الناس أنّ إحساس مروّعة من يكون عاجزة, يكون يفجّر حوالي بالتغير متأخّرة [أف وهيش] هم يتلقّون ما من قوة, تأثير أو إحساس التحكم. بائس. هو ليس إحساس جيّدة.

فيما بعد في الفيلم, ك [فورّست] € ™ [س] إبنة حوالي أن يترك ليومه أولى مدرسة, يسأل هو أبه [ثووغت-بروفوكينغ] سؤال: € œ حياة مثل ريش ([إي] € ™ [م] عاجزة على كثير حادثات أيّ يأثرني) أو أنا يتلقّى مصير (أنا يستطيع ثبتت أهداف, وبهدف يتحرّك نحو هم)? €  [فورّست] € ™ [س] جوابة: € œ يخمّن أنا [إيت] € ™ [س] فقط [ا ليتّل بيت] من كلا, [سن.] €  [إيسن] € ™ [ت] هو?

مادّة خام يحدث, يقول ال [كلند-وب] صيغة من اللاصق مشهورة وافرة. بعد, 10% من نجاح ماذا يحدث إلى أنت - 90% من نجاح ماذا أنت تتمّ مع ماذا يحدث إلى أنت. [إين وثر ووردس,] أنت تستجيب أو يتجاوب? أفقت أنت تترك, أو وحاولت ثانية? تكون أنت لعبة غولف ناد قاذفة, أو أنت تعوّض سريعا? يتمّ أنت تركت أحاسيسك من إمتعاض أو حالة حصلت الجيّدة من أنت, أو تكون أنت مثل باردة بما أنّ قثّاء في أزمة? أنت تقول أشياء أنّ أنت أسف متأخّرة? استجبت أو, عندما يهاجم, مع [كلملي] تكلّم, كلمة لطيفة, وربّما جعلت الأخرى شخص على تأسّف هجومهم?

[إيق] أو [إق]?
قد أصبح ذكاء عاطفيّة, أحيانا يختصر [إي] أو [إق], في إقلاع ال [إيق], حارّة إدارة قيادة يستشير منطقة في المتأخّرة اثنان سنون. قد استبدل مهارات عاطفيّة خبرة و [إيق] أو ذكاء كالعلامات مهمّة أكثر من نجاح شخصيّة. [إي] رسّخت في الإعتقاد أنّ فسّرت نجاح فقط جزئيّا ب [إيق], أو [أن] € ™ [س] عقل. أكثر مهمّة كيف واحدة يتصرّف [إين رسبونس تو] حادثات, و [هوو ولّ] هم يتفاعلون مع الناس.

يذهب اعتماد ل يعمّم مفاهيم [إي] عموما إلى دانييل [غلمن], رئيس من عاطفيّة ذكاء خدمات في ماساشوستس وسابقة هارفارد مربية. Goleman reached the best seller list in 1995 with “Emotional Intelligence.”
The foundation of EI, says Goleman, is that “we are being judged by a different yardstick – not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other.”

And I would argue that the tests are how well we handle ourselves in a crisis, in conflict, in disagreement, and in dealing with problems. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Kinder and Gentler
Goleman describes the results of a U.S. Navy study of its best commanding officers: “…the greatest difference between average and superior leaders was in their emotional style. The more effective leaders were more positive and outgoing, more emotionally expressive and dramatic, warmer and more sociable (including smiling more), friendlier and more democratic, more cooperative, more likable and ‘fun to be with,’ more appreciative and trustful, and even gentler than those who were merely average.” I guess that Dale Carnegie had much of it right over sixty years ago.

Improving EI is all about improving our relationships with others. Unlike IQ, however, emotional intelligence is a learned competence. Corporations, which spend small fortunes identifying, nurturing, and training their future leaders, have begun to zero in on emotional intelligence as a key component of management success.

So what else comprises EI? Goleman’s research shows that emotional intelligence — which includes such things as self-awareness, motivation, empathy/sensitivity, listening, self-regulation, accepting responsibility and accountability, and adeptness in relationships — may be up to 25 times as potent as IQ in determining workplace success.

An Example
John is a rising executive, who at 42 years old, has punched his ticket all the way to Executive Vice President at a utility. He’s extremely bright having graduated from one of the best graduate schools for MBA’s, and is a well above-average presenter and public speaker.

Recently, he was provided data about how his peers, subordinates and colleagues viewed him from an assessment instrument called “360 Feedback.” The results: John is seen as not a good listener; he takes delegated or empowered authority back in meetings when things aren’t going his way; he is seen as somewhat unapproachable because of his quick temper and growing reputation for shooting messengers; he is viewed as having problems giving feedback other than criticism of which he excels.

John’s first reaction to the feedback data is disbelief, followed by the same stages as facing pending, imminent death: denial, blaming, anger, and more. Yet, as the expert coaching intervention proceeds over time, he comes to give some credit of how he is perceived by others. “Perception IS reality,” he grudgingly admits.

Because of John’s eventual acceptance of this information, he has won 25% of the battle: awareness. He also has the desire to improve, the next 25% of the eventual victory. Many business leaders aren’t even aware of the impact that their style has on the respect, trust, commitment-level and motivation of their direct reports.

What to Do
One of the most critically important ways to begin to strengthen your emotional intelligence is to learn to accept full and complete responsibility — offering no excuses. This trait is not age-dependent or experience-driven, unfortunately. No passing the buck. Full accountability regardless of “extenuating circumstances.” Perhaps this is one reason that managers command the salaries that they do – they are responsible for what their team does, or fails to do, period.

Make a New Year resolution TODAY to work on your emotional intelligence. Leadership development, executive coaching, and even some classroom training (beyond the one-day seminar wonder) can and will have an effect on the critical interpersonal skills so important to emotional intelligence. If you are in the “fast-track” and want to stay there, success requires a solid emotional intelligence that often requires coaching to fully realize and achieve.