Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem - Stop Living Like a Victim

September 11, 2023

leadership trainingBy Michael Lee

Breaking the chain of low self-esteem need not be an exercise in futility. Despite the fact that it seems like a Herculean task, because the state of self-loathing and insecurity colors one’s world in bleak shades of gray, breaking the chain of low self-esteem is actually an easy endeavor that starts with one step.

No matter how difficult that first step is, once it’s done, you would be on your road to a better you.

Self-worth is a crucial part of a person’s psyche. If one’s self-respect is in dire straits, his or her productivity, outlook in life, and just about everything in his/her life would be affected. This bondage must be broken.

Most men in the corporate world respond to their achievements being praised. Most women, on the other hand, bank their self-esteem on their physical beauty or whether they are lovable.

Whether you are an adult needing your sense of worth fixed, or a teenager who is in search of your identity, a sound self-esteem is very important. Here are some great tips to get you moving.

1. Find out the root cause of your low self-esteem.

Usually, the root comes from how they and their families interacted. Once you find out about where your low self-esteem comes from, you can now move on to the next step.

2. Go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts.

When you learn how you became the insecure person that you are, go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts. Face your fears head-on. Admitting and accepting that you are a wounded person is very important.

3. Decide not to live like a victim.

When you decide to start healing, now starts the real meat of the journey. You have to constantly decide not to live like a victim, to choose not to see that the world is out to offend you. Let the offenses slide; let the pain slide.

Just acknowledge that people have hurt or offended you, then move on and focus back to your life. Remember that how you perceive life is a matter of choosing the thoughts you subscribe to.

When you do decide to stop believing and living like a victim, reinforce it. Instead of telling yourself that you are ugly, or believing when your boss tells you how incompetent you are, confront yourself with the facts.

Does the mirror say you look like Quasimodo? For an objective assessment, find a friend who loves you and believes in you. Are you truly incompetent? Get a measurable yardstick. How much output can you make in a week? Does it confirm to your so-called “incompetence”?

This life is not meant to be lived in the dumps. Stick to reality, come to grips with the past, walk on, and succeed in breaking the chain of low self-esteem.

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9 Responses to “Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem - Stop Living Like a Victim”

  1. SimoneM on September 13th, 2007 8:22 pm

    Hi Michael,
    Some really great advice.
    A close friend has suffered for many years from a flawed view of herself and only recently has come to terms with the root cause.
    With help, she has learned to listen to her inner voice over the assumptions of others and to focus her energies on what she’s been blessed with, rather than what she wishes for, or thinks she lacks.
    While the journey to improving your self-esteem is a personal one, the support of friends is essential, especially when you really do think that Quasimodo has taken up residence in your mirror!

  2. Solace on September 14th, 2007 9:24 am

    The 3rd point is related to intention manifestation. Often you will find when you think you are a victim, you begin to be treated like the victim, you can see spite in everyones words, hear them gossping about you (even if they aren’t) and so on. By changing your mindset its amazing how much the world around changes.

  3. Katrina on September 15th, 2007 8:47 am

    This article has some great insights. Most people just try to treat the symptoms without looking for the root cause of low self esteem. By discovering the cause of your low self esteem you can start to change your belief system about yourself. Our beliefs steer our lives and govern our thoughts, and most people are consciously unaware of the power of their internal beliefs

  4. Howie on September 16th, 2007 10:52 pm

    Low self esteem is definitely something we should break. Finding the root cause would prove to be very useful, especially if we have no idea where to start. Thanks for sharing this nice post.

  5. Seth Olsen on September 17th, 2007 5:42 pm

    Absolutely crucial!

    What stands out the most to me is extinguishing the deadly ‘victim’ mentality. If anything will kill self-improvement, the ‘victim’ mentality does it by far the quickest.

    Self-esteem is an extremely attractive attribute that numerous people desire to master, but few know exactly where to start.

    Very clear post, I enjoyed it and believe many others will benefit from reading this.

    I also write about subjects regarding personal development, Here.

    Thank you for being of service to others Michael.


    Seth C. Olsen

  6. Charlie on September 17th, 2007 8:28 pm

    Finding out the root cause is indeed important if we truly want to get rid of it. It’s like taking out the roots of a weed if we don’t want it to grow back.
    Low self esteem can affect our personality and performance and we certainly don’t want that to be permanent.

  7. Jessica on January 10th, 2008 4:28 am

    Awesome Post! Thanks a lot for the information.

  8. steve on January 21st, 2008 6:42 am

    Wonderful post, reading “The Greatness Guide Book 2″ by Robin Sharma, highly recommended it, and needed more information on what is meant by victim speak.

  9. Confidence Booster on January 23rd, 2008 4:08 pm

    Very true about the one step. It’s so much easier to break a path apart into smaller steps so that the journey on the path will seem easier. And it all begins with that first step.

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