When is it Time to Get New Friends and Get Rid of the Dream Stealers?
November 6, 2023
by Travis Wright
Sometimes people drift apart as friends, I think this is a fact of life. It feels that the more quote-unquote ‘Successful’, I get, the more I seem to drift apart from some of my long time friends. Has this happened to you?
I understand that sometimes, we no longer resonate with some of our current friends, and its time to let them go. Does this mean that they are bad people? Or does this mean that you are a bad person for not resonating with them anymore? Of course not.
“If you want to Fly with the Eagles, then Don’t Flock with the Turkeys”. I have always stated this. Some people may try to bring you down, or become your personal ‘Dream Stealer’. We don’t need no stinking ‘Dream Stealers’. Some people live their entire life around those who bring them down, and as a result, they live a life of mediocrity. Some people just want to work 9-5 for forty years out of their life and exchange time for dollars.
The reason that I am writing this tonight, is I have noticed, the more positive things that I write about, talk about, and work on… the more some of my ‘friends’ and I no longer resonate with one another. And I have come to accept this as part of the path that I am on. I could also see how some people who are on the successful-mindset path, could get discouraged by the lack of support from some of their friends.
A few of my friends, work for an honest wage, then come home and live for video games, music, movies, internet, and television. Many of them are content to idley waste/spend as much of their lives on these distractors as they can. They ‘chill’ and have as much ‘me time’ as they possible can fit into their day. Now, I don’t hold this against them, I just dont resonate with that behavior as much. Life is about freewill. We have choices.
Having aspirations of being a public speaker and successful businessman doesn’t mean that I have to dislike those things, because, obviously, I spend time on the internet… and I love music. My life just doesnt revolve around that anymore. Perhaps its part of the maturation process? Perhaps my ‘friends’ are upset that Im moving up the economic scale, whilst they sit back and enjoy their ‘me time’.
I’m married and have two kids. We just moved into a new house. I just scored an Instructor position at a Techinal Institute that frees up much of my time and I get to do something I enjoy. I am also, beginning to make some decent money online. Things should be great, right? Well, for the most part, yeah, however, Im trying to figure out this friend thing.
One of my friends say that I talk about success and business development too much around him. Its not the only thing we talk about, but he mentioned that he feels I talk about it too much. He says he isn’t “money conscious’.
Whoa. I would think if you aren’t money conscious, then chances are, you won’t have much of it. This is the case with this friend. He does alright, but he only gets by. And just ‘getting by’ is something that Im sick of, and trying to get out of. Im ready to fly. Not ‘Money Conscious’… wow.
I have to ask, why are so many people NOT success conscious? And am I supposed to change my way of thinking around my friends to bring myself to feign interest in video games, anime, movies, etc.? Or do I minimize my dealings with Dream Stealers who have entrenched themselves firmly into the path of ‘Status Quo’?
In my heart, I know that they care about me and are proud of the path that I am now embarked upon, and I think this is something that many people who start becoming successful may have to deal with. Some people like the status quo… some people want to move beyond the status quo… So, perhaps when the time is right, those embracing the status quo will come around, and I’ll be available to help lift them out of their stagnation.
But, do not let those ‘Dream Stealers’, who are embracing the ’status quo’, stop you from your Goals. Stay on path, in the end, they may or may not come around. And that’s okay. We can still send them love.
And remember this… “If you don’t pursue your own dreams in life, then you will wind up working for someone else’s dream!”
Successfully,
Travis Wright
Travis,
Right on. As you know, like attracts like, and as you grow, you may be becoming less “like” some of your current friends.
Most people who are not interested in growing beyond their current circumstances become uncomfortable when those around them have an interest in doing so. Reason? Well… I hate to be curt, but… they’re lazy. Or they lack self-confidence…and are too lazy to do anything about it. They’re not bad people… they’re just complacent. And complacency generally doesn’t mix well with success and growth.
Video games, movies, and anime have one thing in common: They don’t require growth, therefore, they don’t require effort. That’s why they’re so comfortable for most people to do. But, for someone who sees more for himself/herself, and is willing to do something about it, those things suddenly become strangely UNcomfortable. It’s ok… you’re not weird.
You know I love to flip the coin over, too, so here goes the other possible side of this: Sometimes, we can be the dreaded “born-again” version of success-minded people. You know what I mean… So, if the relationship has true value to you, and you’re getting signals that perhaps this person isn’t ready to operate on the wavelength you’re on, it’s ok to “moderate” the signal you’re sending out, for their benefit.
If fact, you may be the person in their lives that will help them grow when they’re ready. For lack of a better analogy, it’s like walking with a 2 year old… they can’t run as fast as you yet, but they really may want to. And if you take of running and try to drag them along…well… it’s not pretty.
Just my $.02 bro.
J
Great thoughts, Jason… I appreciate your feedback. Im a ‘Born-Again’ Success Minded person! heh.
Thanks for the analogy…
tw
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“Perhaps my ‘friends’ are upset that Im moving up the economic scale, whilst they sit back and enjoy their ‘me time’.”
No, I don’t think they’re upset because you’re doing better financially, I think they’re upset because you’re changing. You’re not interested in the same things that they are anymore. You have fewer things in common with them, so naturally they’re going to resent the changes and start to pull back from you.
“why are so many people NOT success conscious?”
They ARE money/success conscious. They just don’t want to have to change to gain the money/success. They have these dreams/visions that if the money was just given to them, then they would be set for the rest of their lives. But of course that wouldn’t happen. They would waste the money and the rest of their lives because they haven’t changed inside. That’s why so many lottery winners end up unhappy and bankrupt.
Bob
Good points, Bob. Yeah, one of my friends, had a nice Financial windfall come his way… and instead of investing it or starting a business… he bought a ton of material things and took six months off from work, and then went through the cash, and had to get another job.
I kept thinking, wow… if I had that windfall, I would have tried something business-wise, as to not have to work ever again. Instead he used it as a long extended vacation, and had little to show for it, save lots of ‘me time’.
Im not faulting him for it, it was his choice… and he had some things going on at the time to make him feel like he needed to just relax. More power to him though.
Consequently, the next Podcast Series on Napoleon Hill is about the Law of Saving!
“Consequently, the next Podcast Series on Napoleon Hill is about the Law of Saving!”
Cool! I’m looking forward to it! My copy of LoS is still enroute from Amazon, but I’m really enjoying your netcasts. Hearing the information from your perspective is great!
I just started a mastermind group with two other guys and once we get things going, we’re going to be working our way through the LoS a chapter at a time, just like your netcast.
Bob
Reply to Jason Dutt: “Just my $.02 bro.”
How come it’s a penny for your thoughts but you have to put in your two cent’s worth?
Somebody’s MAKIN’a penny…
Just my $.01 - I REFUSE to be a victim any longer!!!
I came across this page while searching ‘get new friends’ on Google. Your article seemed to summarize my own thoughts and feelings so accurately that it’s scary (actually, more like really cool).
Alot of my ‘friends’ do absoloutley nothing. Only half of them have jobs (and are miserable with them), have no ambitions beyond the short-term, play video games all day, and have self-destructive habits. Over the last several years, I’ve grown out of that comfort zone and pushed myself into a new place. I’m currently in school majoring in Psychology with the intention of earning a Ph.D. I’m an avid reader on personal growth, an experimental pop musician (think Beatles, Talking Heads, Pink Floyd), and I have an adventurous attitude. I definitley would love to make new friends with similar amd ambitious attitudes.
Hey, if any of you live in the Providence, RI area, don’t be shy, drop me a line. I really want to surround myself with like-minded, goal-oriented individuals.