Door Te verbieden Beth

Schijnt er altijd een ander vakantie het verzamelen zich of recht van de familiebijeenkomst rond de hoek zijn. Maar verlaat u ooit het benieuwd zijn van waarom u ging? Zijn sommige van uw schoonouders en uitgebreide familieleden een weinig moeilijk te behandelen? Het kan verschillend zijn. Hoe zou u in gevoel dat over daar het zijn wordt opgewekt, die willen lopen weet dat u over uw gehele ervaring gelukkig zult weggaan? Het is uw keus. Ontdek vijf uiteinden die zullen tonen u hoe te om uw volgende ervaring van de familiebijeenkomst enkel als u te plannen altijd hebt gewild.

Bent u hoe benieuwd uw het volgende familie verzamelen zich zal blijken? Is het taai om op sommige van uw familie, schoonouders, en uitgebreide familieleden betrekking te hebben? Verlaat u soms gevoel afgevoerd en benieuwd zijnd waarom u bij allen ging?

Het kan verschillend zijn dit jaar. Veronderstel lopend in uw volgende gevoel van de familiebijeenkomst dat over het zijn daar en het weten wordt opgewekt dat u gelukkig het voelen over uw gehele ervaring zult verlaten.

Het is uw keus. U kunt deze vijf uiteinden gebruiken om uw volgende familie te maken die de ervaring verzamelt u altijd hebt gewild.

Uiteinde #1 - beslis Wat u wilt ervaren

Wij roepen dit het creëren een bedoeling. Als u niet zeer duidelijk bent over wat u wilt ervaren, dan zal het moeilijk zijn om dat te maken gebeuren. En het kan voor u moeilijk zijn het zelfs om op te merken wanneer het gebeurt. Hoe duidelijk wordt u over uw bedoeling? Stel me deze vragen:

„Hoe mijn familie kon en ik van dit?“ profiteer

U zou pret, het geven en harmonie kunnen kiezen. Of peacefulness: „Als mijn ervaring vandaag slechts kon vreedzaam zijn zou ik gelukkig en het willen opstappen volgende tijd terugkeren.“ Verg wat tijd om alle kwaliteiten te veronderstellen die uw volgende familie maken zouden die een prachtige ervaring voor u verzamelt.

„Hoe u en uw gezinsuitkering van deze kwaliteit van ervaring?“ kon

Misschien kon u een grotere betekenis van verbinding bereiken. U en uw familie zou werkelijk zich op opnieuw het zien van elkaar kunnen verheugen. Of u zou met speelser elkaar kunnen zijn. The time you spend identifying these benefits will help you remember your intention if things start to get challenging at the gathering.

Tip #2 - Know That People Are Doing the Best They Can

You might ask: “When Aunt Sue complains about everything under the sun, is she doing the best she can? When Dad criticizes me about every part of my life, is he doing the best he can?”

Yes. They’re doing the best they can.

Stop and think about it. Do they look like they’re having fun at these times? Are they being effective at getting what they really want? If they knew a way to take care of themselves that was more fun and that worked better at getting what they really wanted, don’t you think they would do it?

So if you get upset seeing people act the way they do, remind yourself: They’re doing the best they can. Then get back to creating what you want to experience as fast as you can.

How do you do that?

Tip #3 - Don’t Take Things Personally

“Don’t take it personally if someone says that what I’m doing is stupid?”

You can avoid taking things personally if you start with this understanding: Everything people do or say starts with a desire to support something they value.

And what could that be? Guess.

Your father says to you: “How can you possibly think that starting your own business is a smart thing to do?” He might value security, or predictability. He might be worried about how you’ll continue to pay your bills. Believe it or not, this might be his attempt to contribute to you. And, he is Doing The Best He Can.

So the next time you hear something you don’t enjoy, the next time you want to defend yourself and justify your position, STOP and remember: It’s about them. Don’t take it personally.

Instead, try to be curious. “Wow, I wonder what’s going on with them?” Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes: “If I said or did that, what might be going on with me?” See if you can guess.

Tip #4 - Clarify Your Understanding About What Others Want

One big cause of upset between people is not being sure about what they want from each other.

Have you ever heard people express concerns or complaints like: “I just don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent this month?” Or: “I hate it when we start eating without giving thanks first.” Or maybe a family member starts talking to you about how your favorite cousin is making a mess of her life.

What happens then? Do you feel confused or uncomfortable? Do you try to justify yourself, explain the situation, or give advice?

Whenever you feel uncomfortable hearing people’s concerns or complaints, we believe this is partly caused by your not understanding what they want from you.

We suggest you start asking for clarity. Say or guess out loud what you think the other person might want from you.

Before you start, remember tips 1, 2, and 3.
Get present to the intention you created for the gathering.
Remember people are doing the best they can.
Don’t take things personally.

Suppose cousin Jim says: “I just don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent this month.” What does he want? Ask him: “Do you want to brainstorm some ideas about how you might get your rent this month?”

Or when your grandmother says: “I hate it when we start eating without giving thanks first.” What does she want? Ask her: “Would you like to see if somebody is willing to give thanks before we eat this year?

If your guesses aren’t accurate, they’ll let you know by saying something else that gets closer to what they do want. Your guess will open the way for a conversation that can lead to more understanding and less stress for both of you.

Tip #5 - Develop Your Ability to Be Grateful

What you focus your attention on grows.

If you constantly notice things that cause you pain, then you will continue to suffer. “How inconsiderate he is.” “She doesn’t care about me.” “He’s the most selfish person I’ve ever known.”

Try focusing your attention on what you do enjoy.

It may sound simple. But ask yourself: “What would it be like if I spent my day simply noticing everything that I enjoy about being with my family?”

Imagine looking for all the things that you do enjoy, and being thankful for them. “It smells so good in here; I can’t wait to eat.” “I’m so grateful that everyone cares enough to spend time together.” “It’s nice that my mom enjoys having these gatherings at her house.”

How would you feel if you only focused your attention on the things you do enjoy?

So here’s the plan for a family reunion experience just like you’ve always wanted
1. Decide what you really do want to experience
2. Know that people are doing the best they can
3. Don’t take things personally
4. Clarify your understanding about what others want
and
5. Focus on what you enjoy

Following this plan is the fastest, easiest way to enjoy any family experience.

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