Hey all, I got this in an email today. There are some pretty hilarious metaphors here, although a couple are somewhat crass. But, hey… I figure we are all adults here, and a little humor packed with a bit of truth can serve us all good sometimes. Plus, it’s good to chuckle, you know? heh. Enjoy.

Lesson 1:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone.

“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
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by Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant, M.P.H.

If you read the warning label on the back of any toxic substance, it probably looks something like this: “WARNING: Hazardous to humans. Avoid contact with skin or eyes. Do not take internally. Combustible. Do not use or store near heat, sparks, flames or other source of ignition. Avoid inhalation. Keep out of reach of children and animals.”

Just as chemicals can be toxic, so can people. And although toxic people don’t come with warning labels, if they did, the labels might say: “CAUTION: May poison personal and professional relationships. Physical and mental illness may occur with great frequency. Keep out of reach of children, animals, and anyone wanting to experience joy in life.”

None of us wants to think of ourselves as toxic, and chances are, for the most part you are not. But there are certain times of our lives that all of us start to exhibit more noxious tendencies. If you’ve noticed any of the following signs, you may need to detoxify your life:
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